Posted 27 июля 2020,, 09:45

Published 27 июля 2020,, 09:45

Modified 24 декабря 2022,, 22:37

Updated 24 декабря 2022,, 22:37

Question of the day: will Rospotrebnadzor allow Othello to strangle Desdemona?

Question of the day: will Rospotrebnadzor allow Othello to strangle Desdemona?

27 июля 2020, 09:45
If you follow the recommendations of this supervisory authority on how theater performances and concerts should be conducted, then the vast majority of them should be removed from the repertoire.

As already reported by Novye Izvestia, Rospotrebnadzor published on its website sanitary and epidemiological recommendations for visiting theaters, cinemas and concert halls, which may open in Moscow from August 1, provided that the capacity of their halls should not exceed three thousand places and they should be filled with spectators no more than half. Thus, spectators will be allowed to attend a concert or theatrical performance only in protective masks. The sites, in turn, are encouraged to provide visitors with the opportunity to buy them on the spot.

In addition, during the performances and concerts, the organizers are only allowed to sell water and drinks in industrial packaging. It was also recommended that theaters remove performances with choral and crowd scenes from the repertoire.

All the details of the rehearsal process and the performance of the artists were also taken into account. So, for example, it is recommended to put protective screens in front of the musicians of the wind sections, and they themselves should be located at a distance of at least two meters from each other. In addition, the ovens will no longer be able to blow out their tools, and instead they will have to clean them of moisture with disposable towels. Racks, consoles and protective screens and other work surfaces must be disinfected after the performance.

The writer Sergey Besedin vividly imagined how these recommendations would be implemented in practice:

“So, now I was laughing like a drain under the bench, beating the top of my head on the frame of the parlour. Rospotrebnadzor has issued recommendations for the resumption of theaters.

Firstly, they won't be allowed into the theater without masks. Is it necessary to sit in them for the whole performance (I begin to suffocate in this piece of rag after 5 minutes), it is not said. If necessary, the sight will be truly frightening. Especially for the actors who will bow out after the performance. Hundreds of identical blue-faced people with sealed mouths will silently applaud them, afraid to shout "Bravo!".

Further. It is forbidden for the musicians of the brass group to approach each other by less than two meters, and by the string - by one and a half. At first I tried to imagine the new dimensions of the orchestra pit - my fantasy refused. But he vividly imagined conversations in the orchestra:

- Hey you, French horn! Well, he moved two meters away from me! Look, squeezed close, as if what a violin!

- And me, what should I do? I'm a xylophone!

- You, brother, are not in the recommendations at all. Let's consider you as something in between. Eighty meter is just right for you!

By the way, you can't blow the winds right now. Only wipe with a cloth. Musician friends, is this even real?

But that's okay. Even worse, only sealed water and drinks will be available at the buffet. So those husbands who tolerate La Traviata just for the sake of a glass of cognac during the intermission will be deeply frustrated and discouraged. For many, going to the opera with his wife will turn into a deadly act.

We scroll further. Performances with mass and choral scenes are prohibited. All these Carmenas, Don Quixotes, Rural honor - straight into the furnace. And even little swans will run across the stage with a social distance. Indeed, who came up with the idea that they should hold hands? Marius Petipa? What a retarded choreographer!

Of course, a lot of questions arise. Can Othello choke Desdemona, or will the new edition shoot her at a safe distance with a bow? How to kiss Romeo and Juliet? Can heroes use swords less than one and a half meters long? Of the more or less innocuous performances, only "Hamlet" remains (where he mainly communicates with a shadow, then with a skull) and the standard of a correct performance - "Princess of the Circus": the main character is not only in a mask all the time, but also promotes this with a special hit ...

This is, my apologies, such kind of the libretto comes out..."