Posted 21 октября 2020,, 14:19
Published 21 октября 2020,, 14:19
Modified 24 декабря 2022,, 22:36
Updated 24 декабря 2022,, 22:36
Philologist and popular blogger Nikolai Podosokorsky collected on the Web and published 25 of the most popular anecdotes of this month
1. First wave of pandemic: doctors are trying to convince people that covid exists. Second wave: people try to convince doctors that there are other diseases.
2. - How to stop the second wave of coronavirus?
- We need to urgently schedule elections to the State Duma or even the president. The wave will hit the election date and die out.
3. - What is this algae that poisoned marine animals in Kamchatka?
- Yes, the same ones who raised our retirement age!
4. Elman Pashayev offered the Armenian authorities to settle the conflict in Nagorno-Karabakh for 11 million rubles. (Pashaev - former lawyer of Mikhail Efremov - ed.)
5. - Do you steal from the budget?
- Yes, why?
- And if they find out?
- So you found out. So what?
6. I had a dream: as if the summer of 2021 is outside, a pandemic of a new intestinal virus is raging in the world, and we all wear diapers like that and discuss that in 2020 it was much better wearing masks.
7. - Why do we need this, where have we sinned so badly?
- At the polling stations.
8. Remote lessons are reminiscent of a seance:
- Masha, are you with us? ..Masha, answer if you hear us.
9. Let me remind you that social distance is measured in rubles, dollars and other indicators of well-being, and the physical distance between objects is measured in meters!
10. If you think that wisdom comes to old age, then just listen to the debate between Trump and Biden.
11. Experts believe that the Russian cosmonauts could have depressurized the spacecraft when they nailed the icons to the ISS hull.
12. At the request of the European Union, the Investigative Committee of Russia opened a criminal case against Navalny's poisoners: under Article 238 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - performance of work or provision of services of inadequate quality.
13. It became known that immediately after the doctors, mortgages will be vaccinated against covid.
14. - Darling, where have you been?
- I ran.
- Strange, but the T-shirt is dry and does not smell at all.
- You need to take a coronavirus test.
15. At first, they wanted to appoint Medvedev as the chief for the fight against ants, but then they assessed the scale of the person, the political weight ... In general, they appointed the head of the commission for the fight against viruses.
16. - For some reason, the news in the US rarely reports on the ruble exchange rate.
- They pretend that they are not interested. Or maybe just Russophobia...
17. Muscovites are so rich that they throw away disposable masks after the fifth wash.
18. You live in a superpower - super-hold!
19. Today I cleaned my apartment. It turned out that the little ottoman that stood near the bed and where I put the laptop is half a bag of cement.
20. - How do you think the conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan will end?
- Usually all wars end with the partition of Poland...