Personal experience: how a journalist got a job as a maid, and what came out of it

Angelica Dean

I won't make excuses - why I worked as a maid. If I say that because of money, it's true. Partly. Nowadays, the maid earns more than the head teacher of the university. Seriously - at the commercial Institute of Contemporary Art, where I taught at the Faculty of Journalism, I received 800 rubles in two hours. I will not talk about the fees paid by journalists in the federal media - otherwise I will lose my only income. If I say that I was brought to the maids of one of the psychological centers on the Arbat by the reporter's method “tested on myself,” I will not lie either. For 30 years of work in the media, she “visited” a policeman, make-up artist, croupier (in the early 90s), an actress, but she thought of “hiring” a maid at the beginning of the second wave of coronavirus in Moscow. By the way, I don't see anything strange in the profession of a maid or a cleaning lady. Is it bad to turn dirty into clean with your own hands? In addition, washing floors is a kind of psychotherapy for people suffering from neuroses or megalomania. And when a chance is given - to both earn money, and try a new profession, yes, even correct your shortcomings - it is a sin not to use it.

By the way, 40 people auditioned for the place of a maid-administrator. For the sake of profitability, businessmen often hire both an administrator and a maid in one person. They are trying to find a jack of all trades - yes, even presentable appearance. 2000 rubles per day - for 12 hours of work without a lunch break. The funny thing is that the head of the Center "Rent to Psychologists and Psychotherapists" on Arbat asked me for a recommendation from my previous place of work (in addition to a passport, SNILS and other documents). There were some serious mutual friends who vouched for me. Although there is nothing to rob in the guarded Center, except for large sofas.

After an interview, a successfully completed internship, I came to work with two sets of clothes - a maid and an administrator. She removed the alarm, opened the windows and began to do wet cleaning with a mop and rag. In two hours, I managed to wash 10 rooms (including the training room), change into an administrator's suit, turn on the cash register, computer and booking software. Yes, also order new drinking water. My duties as an administrator included booking by phone and in a magazine, admitting and releasing all people using an intercom, working with the cash register and cash reporting, e-mail, telephone and correspondence with customers by all types of communication, adhering to business communication standards, maintaining order and cleanliness in all day long. As a rule, psychologists, psychics, hypnotists booked rooms for an hour or two, and new ones came to their place. It was necessary to direct each visitor to exactly the psychologist and the office where he was registered. Do not forget to sell shoe covers for 10 rubles to everyone, without exception, and pass them through the cash register. Many did not understand why they had to pay for shoe covers, and, to be honest, I did not understand:

“I’m just an administrator and a maid, and I don’t decide anything”, - I repeated like a parrot 20 times a day. The owner of the Center to my question: "Why do you sell shoe covers?", answered:

- I already have losses during the pandemic. I can hardly make ends meet, and shoe covers also cost money.

Why he made ends meet, if the rent for an hour is 450 rubles (in other centers - 250 rubles each) - I don’t know.

But I patiently performed all the duties, I was never late, I did not break anything anywhere, and even after every working day I sent cash to the owner through the ATM. After the end of the shift at 22.15 - she again changed into a maid - washed the floors, closed the windows, checked for napkins and toilet paper.

I can't help but boast about my biggest achievement in two months of working as a maid-administrator - repairing a toilet flush mechanism. The plumber had to wait all day, and visitors complained about the non-working toilet. I called my boss and told them about the problem. He hinted that you can open the barrel, twist it back and forth, and do something else. I managed it on my own. Joy knew no bounds.

I worked well. Perhaps my activity would have continued to this day, if not for two incidents.

One strange hypnotist who rented an office began demanding insoles from her replacement shoes (some psychologists left shoes in the lockers so as not to buy shoe covers for 10 rubles). My polite response: "I'm sorry, but I don't know where your insoles are, and I hardly know how to find them," enraged the hypnotist:

- You haven't even tried to look for them. Call your manager.

- Sorry, I didn’t take your insoles, I didn’t see them anywhere, because I clean the cabinets myself, and I’m not Sherlock Holmes, who knows how to look for disappeared objects.

The hypnotist insisted on looking for insoles, and I suggested that she call the police who know how to look for insoles. The hypnotist complained about me to my supervisor, and he accused me of "losing a client because of me."

The second incident that put an end to my career as a maid was a meeting with a famous film director - a patient of a psychologist who rented offices. I met the filmmaker on the set (in the world of cinema, I am a famous journalist), and when he saw me with a mop (during the day you have to do wet cleaning in the offices), he decided that I was spying on him on the instructions of his enemies, and he fell into a trap. I will not go into the details of exposing the "spy", but I will say that the next day I had to leave.

Few people like journalists. Each has its own secrets and nuances, and our brother-journalist sees, hears, knows and does not always keep his mouth shut. As a maid-administrator, I did not divulge any state secrets. Every business has its own tricks and I’ll hardly open America if I say that every Russian businessman tries to make money on what is possible and even impossible.

I am not ashamed of the fact that I worked as a maid administrator. It was 100 percent beneficial during a pandemic, destroying hundreds, thousands of viruses with a doormat.

I still have questions to my former employer, in particular, about the legality of the sale of shoe covers, but I'm afraid that in our reality, they are all rhetorical. Inadvertently, I regretted not becoming a psychologist, otherwise I would have earned at least 3,500 rubles per hour. By the way, the demand for psychologists is huge now. Many people lose their nerves during a pandemic.