Posted 27 января 2021, 10:41
Published 27 января 2021, 10:41
Modified 24 декабря 2022, 22:37
Updated 24 декабря 2022, 22:37
In an interview with Ksenia Sobchak in the project "Ostorozhno, Sobchak!" (Beware, Sobchak!) the son of Mikhail Yefremov for the first time after the accident, which happened due to the fault of the famous artist, Yefremov Sr., frankly spoke about his attitude to what happened.
About whether he could forgive Mikhail Yefremov in the place of the relatives of the deceased
I am not in the place of Sergey Zakharov's relatives. I don't know.
Well, Ksenia Anatolyevna, I can't even go there... The only thing I understand is that this situation is a pain for everyone.
I have, thank God, people whom I can ask for help.
I have a therapist and friends, such as, say, a trusted circle.
And, first of all, I would go there. And, probably, I would ask them for help to live this pain that is happening to me.
What he did when his father had an accident
At that moment I was driving from friends, they called me and said, and you saw that it was... At first I did not understand what it was about.
Then phone calls rained down on me. The first one was from the publication, I don't remember which one, of course, they immediately call and ask for comment, I said that I don't know anything.
Then I found out, in fact, in some Internet channel, somewhere I began to type something quickly, there were already videos. I was on the road.
I was very hurt. I immediately called the therapist and he helped me a lot.
And he immediately called all his friends, a trusted circle, and a friend came to me and stayed with me.
I was helped in this situation, for which I am simply immensely grateful.
Once I called my father right away, but I realized that his phone was turned off and began to watch (news on the Internet news).
Father's phone was turned off.
About why I didn't go to the scene of the tragedy
I did not go. Because the egregor is immediately created, this is a huge cloud, the egregor of people who parasitize on this tragedy.
I realized at that moment that I was in such a state that I would not take any constructive action. My heart beat 140 - 170.
I know from myself, again, thanks to the therapy and my whole situation, that this state is called “I am not here and now”, that I am not in reality, but at the moment I have very strong feelings. When I have very strong feelings, I can make things worse.
In order for me to help a person, I need to be in an even and calm state.
At that time I could not afford it... I, of course, had a desire to do something, but I understood that I did not.
About attitudes towards lawyer Elman Pashayev
Pashayev talked with dad, I don't know with whom, with Sonya, with friends, with everyone. When I came there and saw him... I have such a thing, you can call it “sight”, when you look at a person and understand everything.
And at that moment this sight somehow worked, it was important for me to see, scan, one might say so. And I realized that I was not.
And judging by the actions that developed further, this decision on my part was correct, because it looked like a meat grinder, it seems to me.
I saw this energy in him. I don’t know, I can’t formulate it, but I immediately did this (pulls away).
They (Mikhail Yefremov and his wife - noted by the editor) are adults and it was their choice. If someone asked for my opinion, I would definitely give it.
To put it harshly: this is his life, these are his actions, these are his consequences. As awful as it sounds.
As soon as he asked me for some help - what do you think? - I would certainly provide it.
I was close to him and tried to go to him as often and love him as I can.
Of course, I wanted to tell him more than once (what he thinks about Pashayev - noted by the editor), but somehow I miraculously restrained myself, yes. And I think this is correct.
Because you can lead a horse to a watering place, but you cannot make it drink. I cannot make a decision for a person, because there was no request from that side.
I began to get very angry at all this: why don't you see anything! This just happened.
I didn’t say it to them (to my father and his wife - noted by the editor).
It was important for me to be honest, from a calm state, not from the state of a rescuer.
There is the Karpman triangle, and any person who is more or less deeply involved in psychology knows about this triangle - the victim, the rescuer, the pursuer. And if I act in it, then there is no way out.
And, all the more, to help, one must have strength. And from me this situation sucked very strength.
I was ready, I was straight ... But I think my task at that moment was really to be close and to love him.
About the correspondence with the father
We communicate, we are in correspondence. I am grateful that there is such an opportunity, it is very cool.
He asked me to find out how Anna-Maria was doing, how was Kolya.
I shared with him my (news) that I had Verkhovensky there, what happened in the Sobranie, he was very happy for Verkhovensky.
I shared with him the details of what work I have to do. He was also happy.
I wrote to him about my grandmother's birthday. She also told him that she loved him. Some kind of such things.
He wrote that everything is in order. He's that kind of person. It's okay (writes).
About understanding why such a tragedy happened to my father
...Now I will try to explain from the position of my relationship with alcohol, and from the position of my understanding of God, whether a higher power, or how events develop...
I perceived this whole situation just differently.
I understood that this was a terrible tragedy, simply terrible, for all sides, but on the other hand, this is a chance for him to find humbleness and in general somehow see how and why it all happened in life.
Isn't it time to look not at the outside - not at “how is Pashayev?”, Not at this and everything else, but what is inside? What is there? Why is that? What does space tell you?
I cannot call it a lesson ... This is some kind of his story ... But in any case, this is such a visual ... This is the chain of his choices, which led to such consequences.
About whether Mikhail Yefremov will change after the conclusion
...Of course, I have such a hope that this will completely change (him), that he will come to something, but it may be vice versa...
If I wait too long for something, it turns into waiting, and where there is more expectation, there is more disappointment. I do not want it).
I really hope and believe in it, yes. Perhaps this will give you a look at the values that are in life with different eyes. May be.
Like, again, wake up in the morning and be happy that you woke up, that you are alive.
Complete release of the program "Ostorozhno, Sobchak!" (Beware, Sobchak!) with the participation of Nikita Yefremov can be viewed here.