Posted 6 сентября 2022,, 12:09

Published 6 сентября 2022,, 12:09

Modified 24 декабря 2022,, 22:37

Updated 24 декабря 2022,, 22:37

Convicts instead of cars: a super-prison will be built near Kaluga

Convicts instead of cars: a super-prison will be built near Kaluga

6 сентября 2022, 12:09
Фото: Соцсети
The authorities of Kaluga decided to compensate for the departure from the field of foreign auto enterprises by building the first “multicolony” in Russia.

A united colony-settlement with an area of more than 100 hectares and a capacity of 3,000 prisoners will be placed on the outskirts of Kaluga, according to the Kaluganews portal.

In its new facility, the Federal Penitentiary Service intends to combine pre-trial detention centers, colonies of different - strict and general - regimes, and settlement colonies, and an industrial zone, and medical and lawyer centers, and premises for the prosecutor's office, and even, possibly, courts. And besides, they plan to build a hotel nearby for visitors to the colony.

The Kaluga authorities consider the emergence of such an institution very useful for the development of the city, since it will relieve the current Kaluga colony-settlements, the life in which has not met sanitary standards for a long time, and will also create jobs and high-tech industries for prisoners. In addition, the construction itself will be beneficial to contractors.

True, the timing of the construction of the new Kaluga "miracle" is still not really known, perhaps it will be put into operation in three or four years, not earlier.

The word “miracle” in this case is not a typo, since the Kaluga region has become famous throughout the country for its ability to make money: quite recently it was called the “Russian Detroit” for the abundance of factories for assembling the most advanced foreign automotive and electronic equipment. The production of Volkswagen alone was worth something. Alas, today the region has lost all automotive production.

“Now we need new growth points”, experts from the Kaluga channel “Chebarkul Lever” write. - The calculation (again, strictly according to the plan) was as follows: all sorts of foreign investors there - this is transient. Today they are, and tomorrow Russia will again start to get up from its knees, and all foreign tourists, together with their production, will be blown away.

But there must be some eternal values that can launch the locomotive of the new economy of a revived Russia. Should be, right? Yes, and the solution lies on the surface. Russian prisoner! Here it is - the main bond of the mobilization economy. The most disenfranchised creature on this part of the ball. If you want to put him on a mop, or if you want to force yourself to build a dacha.

Therefore, the idea is extremely timely. But this is only the beginning. On the site of each closed enterprise in Kaluga, a colony should be opened. After all, everyone can sit down now, but we don’t have enough places. It is necessary to achieve such a ratio that half of the country is sitting, and the other half is guarding. Here it is, the real Beautiful Russia of the Future, and not your pink democratic snot ... "

Channel readers supported and developed the idea:

“Listen, is it possible to open a mega-project in the country and call it “Prison of Nations”. Plant half, let the half guard (the people love to guard). And in general, let there be such an outsourced prison: for example, why do some other smart-ass partners, the Chinese or Indians, need prisons? May they be beautiful. And the prisoners-to Russia. We can cut down all the forests, sell them to China, and in its place build a large such zone.

No, but what. You can take a lot for it. And the content in the domestic prison is inexpensive.

And again: crime will immediately decrease for partners - who wants to go to prison, which is in Russia, it’s better to either behave well or not be given alive.


All Russians can be provided with work. The issue of unemployment will be resolved.

And the values of Russians will not suffer, because the majority lives in this coordinate system.

And you don't have to study.

And these very, like them, books to read.

And you can drink vodka.

Well, beauty!”

But it's true: in Russia, no matter what the system, you will definitely get a prison. True, there were also defenders of the new project of the Kaluga authorities:

“But I wouldn’t joke like that, because the disgusting quality of the police departments and the colony is one of the reasons for the so-called “lawlessness”. There, people do not improve, but continue to degrade..."