Personal experience: what to do if you have to deal with a narcissist

Psychologist Andrei Yudin published a post in which he thoroughly analyzed what "daffodils" are and how one should behave with them so as not to run into big trouble.

The psychologist told in detail that narcissism is not a joke, but a serious mental disorder, a type of disability, that if, God forbid, fate brought you together with a narcissist, then you need to do this and that, and urgently, without postponing , and it is not a fact that you will be able to escape from the clutches of these people, in any case, meeting a narcissist is a difficult traumatic experience that will forever remain in your hearts.

Yudin explained that “in the perception of a narcissist, another person is something like a character in his personal computer game, the main property of which is that he brings the narcissist either pleasant or unpleasant feelings. And when these feelings are unpleasant, the narcissist seeks to quickly block this influence. There are many ways here: manipulation, direct pressure, complete isolation from the character, or, if nothing works, at least devaluation of the character in his own head, up to inventing a whole alternative reality, where this person is very bad, dishonest, inadequate, psychopath, etc. NS."

It should be remembered, the psychologist writes, that true pathological narcissism is a phenomenon akin to severe disability:

“No person willingly would have made the choice to become a narcissist, but if the human psyche has developed in such a configuration, the likelihood that he will get out of this configuration with the current development of technology can safely be taken equal to zero. Yes, sometimes narcissists ask for help if they have already reached the point of "penis", but: firstly, even when they are in a severe crisis, in the overwhelming majority of cases they do not go through the entire path of curing NRL and are limited only to the removal of acute symptoms. - secondly, it is definitely not worth counting on such a turn if the narcissist has access to a reliable source of fuel for his self-esteem ... "

Kiev cultural scientist Yulia Pyatetskaya , commenting on this publication, translates the language of the psychologist into universal and explains how to identify a narcissist in everyday life and what to do when it becomes clear that this person suffers from narcissism:

"People. Life is a traumatic experience that will remain in your hearts until you die. Why are you all the time looking for reasons to complicate this experience somehow? Well, why? You don't know yourself?

People. If you meet a young man who does not call you, and you are suffering, this does not mean at all that he is a narcissist. Chances are, you're just not his type.

If you met a young man who, instead of a responsible marriage relationship, fools your head, it does not mean that he is a narcissist. He just doesn't want to. Or is already in a marriage relationship.

If you meet a young man who lies, cheats and abuses you, this is not a narcissist, but a scoundrel.

If you meet a young man who is selfish and thinks only of himself, this is not a narcissist. This is an egoist. That is, a person who always strives to make it better for him, and not for you. Throw them in the neck.

People. A narcissist is not a youth at all. They can be anyone. Quite often - a boring nasty aunt.

Just from the word "narcissus" you cannot form a feminitive, and in general the word is beautiful. So people get confused.

The concept of "narcissism" has a completely intelligible meaning, definition and meaning, the word "narcissism" has not only phonetics, but also semantics.

Narcissists are distinguished from all others by one single noticeable feature, thanks to which they are not confused with anyone. Heightened self-esteem. And that's all. And that's it!

Narcissists are people with high self-esteem. True, this is enough for communication with them to be unpleasant, slow, dreary and tiring. Narcissists are really extremely annoying people. If fate brings you to a narcissist, within five minutes you will know that this is a person of difficult fate and rare merits. He himself will tell you all about it, even if you do not ask about anything. After 10 minutes of communication, you already want to dump, and the main thing here is not to miss the moment. Because if you hesitate, in 20 minutes you will have to listen to the story of his life, struggle and numerous triumphant victories. Or no less triumphant defeats. Whatever happens to the narcissist, he is always a triumphant. Sometimes it's very funny. But you shouldn't laugh. Laughing about a narcissist will immediately put you on the hourly list of his worst enemies, do you want it? Go away. 10 minutes - and bring down, while in memory. You can say, "Thank you for a wonderful evening." This will boost their self-esteem.

But they are not narcissistic egoists, not arrogant snobs, not cunning manipulators, not bloodthirsty abusers, not cruel cynical rogues. That is, they may also be like all other mortals, but they may not be. This is not the essence of narcissism. The bottom line is that these are quite ordinary people who consider themselves unusual. And thirsty for constant confirmation of their unusualness from others. Believe me, it's not easy for them either.

They can be quite successful and content, and tremble about their genius and success. They can be deeply unhappy and tremble about their unrecognized, incomprehensible, invaluable. About that there are enemies around, but I will not give up. The narcissist is always trending about himself and his improbability. First, second and third. At the same time, there is nothing incredible in them. This is the tsimes and the mixture of narcissism as a phenomenon.

Sometimes narcissists create wonderful couples and even entire communities where they are happy to trend about themselves. It's always unbearably boring with them, but in general I don't understand why one should be so afraid of them.

You just need to learn the words and their meanings, so as not to drown in an ocean of tears. That's all. People. That's all…"