In these posts she told about what her eight-year-old son Petya and she herself had to endure a week ago in the second infectious children's department of the Ramenskaya Central District Hospital.
The editors of Novye Izvestia received a letter from Olga, in which she told in detail the heartbreaking story of their “walk to medicine”. The key moment of the situation: contrary to the law, Olga was not allowed to stay with her son, who was in serious condition against the background of a severe intestinal infection, as a result of which the boy's stress from being in the hospital increased many times over. Not a single mother will wish her child like this and, protecting him, will certainly turn into a "cross between a tiger and a typhoon" (as Olga herself described herself in a letter).
“- He calls me every 5 minutes and cries into the phone! He cannot live without me, understand, I know my child ...I must be with him now.
- So, we will take away his phone, so as not to cry!
They hung up at the other end. Who was it, who was I talking to now? Judging by the intonation, someone in power, perhaps the head of the department.
I quickly dialed Petya's number.
- Petya, don't give your phone to anyone, do you hear? Even if they take it away, tell me, my mother won't let me.
My feet did not go home. I stood under Petya's window on the second floor of the second box of the second infectious children's Ramenskaya Central District Hospital. So earlier fathers came to the hospital and looked out for their little bags in the windows, solemnly demonstrated by their mothers.
My "bag" is now eight years old.
Alone in an unfamiliar place with strangers, he stayed for the first time. Acute intestinal infection: repeated diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration. Emergency hospitalization.
“I don’t know… I don’t know how I can handle it… It seems to me that I cannot… I cannot be here without you, I will run away…
The son turned away to hide his sobs, then squinted out the window again. He saw me, most likely, as a silhouette - his glasses remained at home. The previous day he spent without them, did not read, did not play, lay in bed, could not do anything. We rejected the first offer of hospitalization by ambulance, hoping to get by with an antiemetic injection. With the same symptoms - a typical rotavirus - passed earlier in a day or two without much incident. This time, in a day, despite the injection, it got worse.
“How many times did you vomit? - the doctor in the admission department will ask later. - Well, you are exaggerating, I guess. Twenty-five times, is it every hour, or what? " Yes, every hour, even at night. So we decided to be hospitalized and called an ambulance again.
- Where will we be assigned?
- I don’t know where the outfit will be, maybe in Lyubertsy, or maybe in Narofominsk.
The outfit ended up in Ramenskoye. Drove in ten minutes. I almost exhaled as we drove - everyone is close here, soon he will be helped. What next…
The first half hour passed while waiting for access to the emergency department. We sat in the ambulance. Finally they entered.
- Why did you bring us? We have no places.
The paramedic with the ambulance insisted, they say, the operator gave the outfit, so there are places. The receptionist resisted, take it to another place.
Where? No time. An urgent need for a dropper, he may lose consciousness. I googled signs of dehydration, my son was lying on the couch with a cloth and closed his eyes. Administrative passions boiled over his head.
After half an hour of battles on the phone and across the table, the ambulance paramedic got up and left.
- I closed the outfit! Do what you want.
This was the first bell - violence, here violence reigns supreme. Only by her departure she made them, only then the place was found.
Then they will write to me in the comments how they did not want to take a child with borreliosis to the same department from friends, for about an hour they assured me, together with the same head, that it was an allergy to a bite, and they put it only when a doctor who accidentally came, looking at erythema, casually threw "What a classic picture of advanced borreliosis." They shouted at her, but it was no longer possible to get out, they took it. But they said, well, look, we will not treat with modern means, keep in mind, you are cunning Muscovites. The child was then eight, like Petya.
For another half an hour, the paperwork was drawn up.
- When will you start treatment? He's going to shut down now!
- You do your job, mom - give him a drink for now, give him a drink. As we put it, and start treatment. Now you leave, and we go to the IV.
- I will not leave, I will go with him, he will not be able to live without me.
- No, you won't. How old is he? Eight. My mom and I are up to seven years old only.
At that moment, alas, I still did not know about the existence of Federal Law No. 323-FZ "On the Fundamentals of Health Protection of Citizens in the Russian Federation", according to which (paragraph 3 of Article 51 and subparagraph 4 of paragraph 3 of Article 80) one of the child's parents, the other a member of his family or legal representative has the right to a joint free stay with a child in a medical institution when providing him with medical assistance in a hospital environment, regardless of the child's age during the entire period of treatment.
- The longer you are here, the more you delay your son's treatment.
The manipulation worked. The reception door slammed shut behind me and my husband. From that moment on, the children's hospital became a place of confinement for the boy, and for me - the Winter one in 1917. But, unlike the Bolshevik October, my assault ended ingloriously. The next day, I broke through the guard only to the first floor. Then all the doors were locked. Even the doctor who came down to me was let in by the doorkeeper, clattering with keys.
The dialogue with the doctor took place, but it was harmful for both of us. I drained the lacrimal glands that did not obey my will. Doctor Dmitry Vladimirovich Zherdev was forced to endure the emotional intensity of another "hysterical" and suffered psychological damage - although for him, a certified pediatrician with 12 years of experience, the child's psychological health is not a subject for discussion with a parent.
- Yes, your child feels normal! They instilled it, and he is receiving treatment. What more do you want?
- He is crying, he has a nervous breakdown, I know my child!
- Should I invite a psychiatrist to him?
I wonder if there was a course in psychology at the Ivanovo State Medical Academy, which Dmitry Vladimirovich graduated from in 2004? Have he and his colleagues heard about attachment theory? There is a department of psychology at this university, but there was no psychology in the training program for pediatricians. I later found the VKontakte profile of doctor Zherdev to send him a link to the documentary John. It shows the effect of separation from a mother on a young child. This film was filmed in Great Britain in 1969 by colleagues of John Bowlby, the author of attachment theory. After his screening, there was a revolution in the childcare system in the country. Copies of the film began to be used in teaching medical students around the world.
Half a century later, this knowledge is not in demand in the Ramenskaya Central District Hospital.
- You heal one thing and cripple the other, do you understand that? You're a doctor.
Doctor Zherdev turned around and left. In the comments on Facebook, they will write to me later that doctors are also hostages of a system that does not take into account the psychological needs of children. I don’t know, maybe the hostages. After all, my son will be discharged in a few days, and the doctor will continue to work there. It is not he who sets the rules. Who?
I googled, found Law 323-FZ and went to the manager.
- Bring me the help! Let us let the certificate that the child is disabled. I don’t need to talk about psychology, we have a psychiatrist who is being observed here! Nothing, everyone can cope without their mothers.
The head of the children's infectious diseases department of the Ramensk Central Regional Hospital, Zazulina Anna Radionovna, to whom I brought a statement with a request to put me with the child, had a hard mouth. The words flying out of him hurt like shards of a troll's mirror. They wrought cold destruction in me: I became a cross between a tiger and a typhoon.
- The law is not a decree for you ?! Up to the age of 14, a parent has the right to ...
Powerful Zazulina firmly rooted in her native concrete:
- I don’t need the law! By law, up to 4 years, and we generally put up to seven. Your eight, goodbye mom, go home! We will cure and give you your child.
- By law, you must provide me with the opportunity to be with a child! No place, on a paid basis, whatever. A child with special needs, he is injured now, you are a doctor!
- We don't owe you anything, go home to your place and download your license there, where you came from.
I went to the head physician of this hospital and called the Ministry of Health. The head physician Arkady Borisovich Kogan was absent, according to the secretary, he was just at the Ministry of Health. The Ministry of Health on its hotline politely redirected the OMS policy to the insurance company, the insurance company politely offered to write a complaint on their website. The image of the manager reappeared in front of my eyes: she laughed at my attempts to break through the wall.
- I do not like? Take it!
They took the next day on receipt. A day later, the child was on the mend. But three days and four nights at the Ramenskaya Central District Hospital stayed with us.
It turned out that in addition to the severity of the forcible separation, the son repeatedly experienced fear and anxiety from threats. For example, during medical procedures: there was a need to rinse the stomach, it was necessary to drink three glasses of water. Petya cannot drink a lot, starting from the very birth, naturally, he cried and refused. But there he was threatened to inject by force.
- How exactly did they threaten you?
- I can’t say, I don’t remember. They said they would pour in force.
Psychological violence is a term that is hardly relevant to the consciousness of the staff of this medical institution, like many other organizations of the old Soviet school.
The tiger and the typhoon in me mingled again in a frantic urge to force them all to pass the child psychology exam before being allowed to live children.
But the last chord was the son's story about how “two aunts” washed him in the shower.
- You usually wash yourself! Did they wash you everywhere? And there too?
- Yes, they told me to undress and washed me. Everywhere…
This is perhaps the most far-reaching of all that has been experienced. Two "aunts", without asking permission, wash the boy "everywhere." It is not at all customary for us to discuss such topics. My son and I talked about what intimate areas are and that no one can touch them without his permission. But, alas, he thought that the "hospital aunts" could be. Did they ask his permission? Of course not.
This is a gross invasion of the child's intimate sphere without the consent of his or her legal representative. What consequences can such a bodily intervention have for the psyche of a boy, a future man? We will find out at the forensic examination.
Now Petya is physically healthy, recovered and feels as usual. But who knows what scar remained inside ... There are cases when a single incident crippled children's health - after all, besides physical, there is also mental. I do not want to put up with such an attitude towards children and intend to hold those who have harmed the health of my son to account. "
For completeness, Novye Izvestia publishes examples of comments to Olga Golovina's posts on this situation:
Irina Smastchenko: Call the insurance company and write to the website of the health department. Up to 14 years old, they are hospitalized with their parents, however, without providing a place and food and with an up-to-date USB stick. As a rule, after the message that you are going to call / write, the opportunity is instantly found to be hospitalized with the parent.
Olga Arapova: Even in June 2020, mothers with children were in Speransky. I didn’t lie, but I came every day without any PCR, and my mother and son were lying on the next bed for 12 years.
Mila Raketa: We, in our country, live all the time, like in a war, or in pre-war time, we have an eternal emergency, we live according to military laws .... That's what happened to us. (Now, by the way, it is much softer than in the 70s80s90s00s. But it happens even worse when everything ceases to function altogether.
Ksyusha Zharkova: I hug you. In 2019, my son and I went to the Ramenskaya infectious diseases clinic. With ARVI, they brought him a bottle of soda and salt and told him to rinse. The baby was 11 months old. There were complaints like "Why is your child unable to take medications ?!" at 11 months. Attempts to take the baby and carry out the procedures forcibly without my presence. Bad tests for 5 days, which we repeated in paid laboratories and they turned out to be good. Sowing milk for sterility is a separate pain. A child who refuses to eat, drinks only breast milk, trying to transfer to formula is just my nightmare. I left on receipt and the next day the baby was on the mend. I do not understand such an inhuman attitude towards children, and I am very sorry that it still exists.
Anna Dorogova: What kind of game is going on? My seven and we lay together. Here two weeks ago. This is not a rotovirus but NOROVIRUS! And you need to drip with 4 droppers at once. Plus therapy. 2 days of acute, then a decline. The stomach moves off completely, the pancreas too.
Maria Pro: Olga, contact the Prosecutor's Office. You can also write an appeal to Bastrykin, now they react quickly from there.
Andrey Lorgus: Yes, Olya! This is a civil war! The organization of hospitals is a camp, a gulag. But the doctors are also prisoners in it. But the Chief Physicians, Art. sisters, caretakers and guards are guardians and godfathers. Yes it is.
Bella Kirik: I don't understand why our hospitals need to pretend to be concentration camps? What are the arguments against communication between loved ones and the patient? Let's say dirt and unsanitary conditions. But now it seems like shoe covers are everywhere. Questions and attempts to interfere with treatment may be in the way. But you can always put impudent relatives in their place. Maybe child patients near their parents show more emotions, i.e. cry more, hysteria. But here, too, you can always come to an agreement if you wish. I cannot explain this stupid obstinacy in any way. Only by the fact that among traditionally liable doctors, many regard discipline as a virtue and believe that the manifestation of strength is always good, even when it is harmful.
Evgenia Kedrova: In September 2020, my eldest son lay there for 2 weeks. This is a prison, he said. The windows do not open, there is nothing to breathe. This is an infectious disease. This is a strict quarantine.
Gorina Olga: It's terribly hard. Once they took Mishka away from me. He was 8. And they promised me in the ambulance that they would allow me to be hospitalized with him. But they picked him up at the reception ... and I didn't even say goodbye. And she couldn't find out anything at all. They took away on Friday ... and they said to find out on Tuesday !!! I felt such anger and powerlessness ... My boss then was able to break through the information blockade and find out everything about Mishka, but she was able to come to the meeting only after 4 days.
Yulia Kuzenkova: Once, right before the New Year, my son got incomprehensibly ill, like something in his mouth, with a gum. He was screaming in pain, just horror. The ambulance said, no, we will not open our mouths suddenly there is inflammation and death will break out for everyone. We went to Ramenskoye to the reception. It was terrible. Such a hateful treatment. Moreover, the child is not a toddler, but had to be carried in his arms. I couldn't myself. As a result, they yelled, they said they didn't know anything, we could put it down, and then they would sort it out in a week. Holidays !!! We went to the hospital reception, to the surgeon. He said that there was nothing on his part, go to the infection, it’s somewhere out there, waved his hand, I don’t know, me. In general, we left, no, we ran away from this terrible place. Nobody looked at us dentists, we need a child, an adult is not allowed. But this morning on January 1st is the new year ... We survived until the 3rd and went to a paid pediatric dentistry. But that terrible attitude is still with me. Is it really good to work there gle you hate?
Ksenia Nesyutina: Olya, I remembered all the horrors of the ramen infectious disease in your post. When Alice was 6 months old, he lay for 1 day, then was transferred to intensive care. During these days I had a fight with the manager, because they were not allowed to see the child: she pushed me out, I tried to get through. 6 months, too, apparently a lot is considered ((((We were later transferred to intensive care and this was only the beginning of that horror. Thank God Alice survived, but rather in spite of the Ramenskoy children's hospital
Galina Kunegina : We were lying there with Ksyu with a rotovirus in Ksyushin's 2 years. The manager is a gistapo, intimidating mothers. Ksyushka was taken to the dropper, they didn’t let me in, they tied her and Ksenya screamed for all three hours of the dropper. Why and who needed it - is it not clear? Not to let my mother in, I would have calmed her down, held her hand ... But no, it's easier for them to tie, take away. Then say that my daughter is hysterical. The trauma I left from this hospital ((. But the nurses were friendly to children. Of course, these managers and rules need to be changed!
Attention to Roskomnadzor (Federal Service for Supervision in the Sphere of Telecom, Information Technologies and Mass Communications):
The editorial board of Novye Izvestia has written permission to publish a photo with a child from his mother.