To Paris and Back: A Journey Experience in the Age of the Special operation

Sergey Mitroshin

I decided to check how it is now to go to Europe. What will they say at the border, what will they say at other borders. Will they be crucified when they see that a "dear Russian" has come to them, because of whom all the trouble? Yes, a pure experiment for significant money for a pensioner.

Eternal Russian fear of the border

The first fear: they are there, at the border, looking for compromising evidence in the computer. Suddenly, a housing and communal services debt, a fine or a list of statements will come up, and I have never limited myself in this. Times are very difficult today, as one girl remarked, but why should I hide in my country what I think about?

Oddly enough, practice has shown that everything is not so bad.

It even seemed to me that “good girls” were specially planted at the departure so that no one would have unnecessary anxiety. The only dialogue is before passport control. "Do you have currency?" (Interestingly, what do they think, do they live abroad now without currency?) "Well, there is." "And how much?" "A little". "A little is how much." "That's not a lot". (I'm already saying this with some malice.) Surrender: "Well, less than 10 thousand?" “I don’t have that many” (viciously). They laugh kindly.

The next question I was looking forward to was the purpose of the trip? And I never knew how to answer it. The fact is that I hate the word "tourism". What the hell is tourism after almost twenty years of living abroad? I see the Eiffel Tower from the window every day - part of the interior, like a refrigerator. Once he answered “rest” and ran into an undisguised condemnation: he wanted to rest, you see, from us. The border guard (man) then repeated several times: "rest, rest...".

This time I prepared the answer: not to be here, but to be there. Whatever that means. But, thank God, no one asked.

It so happened that covid pulled me out of life for a long time. And probably not in vain I expected unpleasant changes. Firstly, everything around has risen in price, and my money, on the contrary, began to run out. Yes, and hung on the accounts of the most honest bank. Moreover, this is the second time in my life when Russian banks refuse to work as banks. Secondly, it became crooked to fly.

However, I used to fly crookedly - through Poland, the Baltic States and even Copenhagen. This was my choice - to save money. Now - someone else's choice and without saving. The price of the ticket became exorbitant and without luggage. I took it back through Casablanca - I wanted to feel like Humphrey Bogart, but Casablanca fell off after buying a ticket, being replaced by Ankara. So Humphrey Bogart didn't work out of me either.

And so you arrived...

...but how to get at least to Gare du Nord?

It used to be easy, got on the RER and drove. For the first time, however, I see that the RER has a day off, and Paris, according to the Sobyanin method, has launched a scheduled bus. (By the way, there is a chronic shortage of bus drivers in Paris, and if you are a bus driver, then welcome.) But where do you buy a ticket?

I had no problem with the ticket, but it could be. Now there are some automatic boxes all around, but you have to put a card in there. When the sanctions against Russia began, everyone in Russia laughed: this will not affect us, we have Mir. And here you are at Charles de Gaulle airport. You have "Mir" card in your pocket. So, what is next?

Previously, you could buy a ticket directly from the driver. Now there is no. Banned. But it was not banned against the Russians, it’s just that the world is changing, which Russia itself has disconnected from itself. And that is the direction of progress. Also, cardboard boxes on the subway are a thing of the past. Today the turnstiles are chewing on the last ones. Tomorrow you will see them only in the museum. I remember blue ones, green ones, pink ones...

Yes, of course, you can still take a taxi, but it will be several times more expensive. What's the savings here? Who am I to you, millionaire? I'm coming from a troubled country.

Are Russians loved abroad?

My ex-wife from the seventies - a polyglot, knows a hundred thousand languages, including fifty thousand dead ones - claims that Russians are simply adored abroad and always shout "Hurrah!" when they appear. There, they say, they envy that you have Putin, and we have some fools. Her daughters, however, married Germans, and today it has become problematic even for her to visit her daughters, so, as far as I understand, her enthusiasm has somewhat subsided.

In general, Russians abroad used to be treated with irony - in the main, for heap movement, noise, bad taste in clothes and lack of elementary tact. Today - rather, no way. There are no more tourists. There are fugitives and relocants. They awaken in the "foreigners" some cultural archetypes of the Second World War, they want to help in some way, as once the Jews. But strangely, Paris has become an even more Russian-speaking city than before.

Here comes the mother with the girl. Mom speaks Russian, and the girl answers in French. It is easy to guess how it happened. "Where is Eva now?", - the girl asks. “Eva is in heaven now”, - Mom replies. Materialistic upbringing, apparently, also moved off somewhere.

I wanted to talk with a friend - a teacher of history, who used to shine at various seminars. Find out how life is, do you manage to fit into a different environment, do you have enough financial resources? The French are still not so generous. The comrade thought for a day, and then answered: “I probably won’t say anything”. What if it's anonymous? As if with the back of the head turned to the interlocutor. He thought for another day. "No, I probably won't either".

And this is understandable, they will calculate immediately. Somewhere let out what those seminars were - and the end. And in Moscow, mobilization, someone will be raked in. However, this is some kind of new phenomenon, even for the entire last thirty years, that people are afraid to open their mouths even abroad.

I thought about it with a heavy feeling.

Strange episode in Ankara

When Casablanca “fell off”, Ankara “collapsed”, which is obviously not typical for it. The Russians crowded on the night flight, which threw the Turks into strange fun. They looked at the small Russian-speaking crowd and for some reason laughed. "Russians" and "ha-ha-ha". Indeed, strange - after all, we gave all the earnings to the Turks, we should be grateful.

The flight was without baggage. I have everything according to the rules. It is written that so much and so much is possible - I have exactly that in a specially bought suitcase. But how do my dear compatriots understand "without luggage"? How dear compatriot!

They understand that for some unknown reason there is no luggage compartment on the plane and everything must be dragged with you. And they drag their large suitcases into the cabin and all weigh themselves with bags. That's why I don't like Russian travelers! Nevertheless, the Turks are well aware of rudeness, because they themselves like to be rude. The peoples of authoritarian countries are similar.

Some, including myself, had online registration as advanced. “And what are you giving me here? - the Turkish security guard is perplexed. - I need an oblong ticket, and you are here with some self-made A4 print. The case comes to a standstill. Security offers to go to Turkey, of course, having paid for a visa, and then check in normally for a flight. And people have bags full of duty free! Liquids. How is that at all?

I stand a little further away, but I understand that the clouds are gathering. You have to shake it up, adding metal in your voice. Is it my problem too? Everyone nods happily, problem too. Then I play the card of the status of an international journalist, promising to write the whole truth about the Turkish transfer. To be honest, Turk, the problem is resolved in the same second, instantly. They thank me.

Homecoming

The return is not as joyful as the departure. I noticed one constant thing that I can't explain. Why flights there always proceed with good dinners and even wine, and back with the only cheap sandwich. To quickly adapt?

Customs officers on arrival are tired and unfriendly. Doctors sit at tables, sneezing incessantly, doing nothing and saying nothing. Again what I don't understand. "How much currency do you carry?" - suddenly the customs officer asks again. Well, it seems to me that in the face of a shortage of cash and when banks stopped issuing it, the more the better, but strange Russians again limit.

And here's another question for filling: "Do you have rubles?"

- Well, what do you think, do I have rubles? - I still live here!